And another, and another.

In a bid to live my life away from the public’s eye, many great moments were not archived in this blog. It’s funny how I used to glorify the dramatics and the woes that is me only to realise later that people I never knew (or never wanted to) were keeping up and that started to creep me out a little.

Then I flip through my archives and remember all the things that I forgot. I relived the moments when I was hunched in front of the monitor, hatching the next great big episode (how sad) that is my life.

I don’t think I need to explain myself to anyone else but you. Days, weeks have gone and had I documented my thoughts anywhere at all, it could at least help me keep track. Instead I now lull myself into this inertia and I just allow the things around me to just…happen.

A love found, a love lost. It is all the same. At the end of everything, you are next to yourself and you don’t really find anything else. Except you.

A really close friend explained the brick wall to me recently: You can pummel, kick, beat it all you want. It stays hard, stubborn. And you might hurt yourself in the end. But then you leave and then the brick wall crumbles into pieces.

And no one can ever put the brick wall together again.

Ngeargh.

I think that best summarises the many many thoughts and ideas and despairs running through me like a big circuit crammed with half-performing engines.

You know what, I think it’s time.